One thing that I remember about my mum is how generous she was.
One day, there was a man lying down on the floor at the park, with a sign saying “I am hungry, please donate some money” or similar.
I was a child, with my mum.
She saw the guy, she told me to wait there.
She went to the nearby cafe and bought 2 sandwiches.
She helped the guy to sit up and sat with him while he was eating the two sandwiches.
She talked to him.
I think she knew him, I think they were friends in the past.
But maybe not, who knows?
Anyway what she did was so noble and selfless, and she didn’t think at all that those sandwiches were overpriced or that she would lose money.
I was in awe of her and at the same time I didn’t feel able to make that kind of gesture myself.
Eventually it happened in recent years, after I started to meditate regularly.
I would always feel very uncomfortable if I would see someone beg on the side of the road.
I was able to give in moments where I was completely happy with myself and feeling free.
When I went to Venice to exhibit my art, and I was enjoying an ice cream while walking around, there was an old man with a blue basket, the only beggar I’ve seen in the city, and he looked very sad.
I took out a 20 € banknote and I gave it to him, a blue banknote in a blue basket.
In London an afternoon, I was buying notebooks to decorate with my drawings, and meeting a friend soon, and there was a woman in her fifties begging, she was beautiful, sad and with short hair, she looked a little bit like Annie Lennox.
I walked into a shop, prepared a 10 £ note, and gave it to her.
When I met my friend, she had disappeared.
Still there was an uneasiness inside me during these two episodes.
That uneasiness was completely gone in the last episode:
An afternoon in London, an exhibition inauguration in which I talked with very nice people, then I walked around and discovered beautiful spots to photograph, synchronicities, I bought a sandwich and chocolate mousse.
I was walking inspired by the surroundings and eating my sandwich, when I noticed a sign “I am hungry” and cardboards, with a young guy.
I went to him and I said “do you like chocolate?”
And I gave him the chocolate mousse.
This time it was easy and light for me.
In the “Walk for the World” meditation, Dr Joe Dispenza says the words “Believe, behave, become”.
It is a concept he talks often about, and recently, with this story, I started to understand it better.
When I was a child it was “believe”: I believed that a generous act is possible, because my mum did it.
Then “behave”: I started to do the same, to experience it.
And the last time it was “become”: I became the person who gives food with a smile, feeling comfortable.
And I did it again :) I had a piece of cake in my hands and I gave it to a man who was begging in central London. He told me: God bless you.
Now I am thinking about how I could give during the next holidays.
I would like to enjoy the holidays not by consuming, but by creating and giving.
Una Marzorati
unamarz Creations